Me and Frostillicus go back a long way. While there, Homer is kidnapped. The episode was directed by Jim Reardon and written by Dan Greaney. So before that happens, I want to share some things with you that have meant a lot to me. Time: 5:22] At Springfield Elementary. But it doesn't mean you can't live a long and pointless life. Then his mind started gettir lazy... and now he's dumb as a chimp. Ah, well, Sanjay. [Southern Accent] Quit-You kids knock it off. Can you drive me down to the "liberry"? Well, does it hurt when you go like this? Beauty is all around us, and not just in pageants and parlors. Now we need your Ice Man. T'es tombée dedans ? Homer tape à la porte] Homer : Lisa. Whoo-hoo! Marge, get me your address book... four beers and my conversation hat. 20? [McClure Narrating] Have you ever wondered why fat parents have fat children... or why Chinese parents have Chinese children? The animation is really choppy.) I've hit my mental and creative peak at the tender age of eight. Soon, the arts and literature I love will be replaced... by talk radio and vulgar mud flaps. You may remember me from such medical films as Alice Doesrt Live Anymore... and Mommy, What's Wrong with that Mars Face? I'm getting worried about Lisa. It's the kind John Glenn eats when he's not in space. And a spring for his curly tail. [ Clears Throat ] Rise to vote, sir. - Uh, you bet I am. I've awakened in the future. Everybody hates birds, right? It's- [Whispering] Yeah! - I don't wanna turn out that way. What do you do, "Dr. Simpson"? Lisa's in class bemoaning her problem. Somebody's gotta set that girl straight and I know how to do it. HOMER Yeah, he's my favorite fictional character. Thanks. - I'm adopted? Wait a minute, Homer. Let's go. The Bear Patrol is sure doing its job.Lisa: That's specious reasoning, Dad.Homer: Thank you, sweetie.Lisa: Dad, what if I were to tell you that this rock keeps away tigers.Homer: Uh-huh, and how does it work?Lisa: It doesn't work. [Laughs] I should write this down. It reads, ``You are Lisa Simpson.'' We're nothing but a big bunch of losers. [Laughs] Thanks, Lisa. While trying to coax Maggie into saying her first word, Homer and Marge talk about how Lisa … Stream full episodes online & watch live Sundays at 8/7c! <-- Back to List of Shows Shows with not enough episodes listed, or no episodes listed at all, will be highlighted in red. If you would just apologize to Louie, you could get your hair cut the way you want. Thaw me out when robot wives are cheap and effective. Oh, this is the worst thing that could ever happen to us! But the crowd kept looking at me like I was using too many augmented ninths. You probably should have researched this first, eh, Dad? [Whimpers] Well, you look pretty successful. On The Simpsons, the residents of Springfield aren't the most intelligent people in the world. " Lisa the Iconoclast " is the sixteenth episode of The Simpsons ' seventh season. Lisa, it's me, Daddy. I used to share a bathroom with Frostillicus. It's called lice. Men. Lisa (when Ralph shows up at the Simpson house) Just make up some excuse! Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is … Let's go. Marge notices the time. Lisa, honey, wake up. [Chuckles] Hey, you know who would love this? Aw, they just came for the buffalo wings. Tell her what you do. That's a good idea. Look at Bart's homework. I'm strongly opposed to Proposition, uh, 305! [Clears Throat] Little girl likes her brain. Just look at all that ice cream. Season 23’s “Lisa Goes Gaga” is one of The Simpsons ’ most despised episodes; the writers used Lady Gaga in the laziest way. I run an unsuccessful shrimp company. I had one last week. Lisa cackles evilly, then smashes the mirror. Old man! Dear Log: It won't be long now before my mind melts into a soft, Simpsony sludge. Do all Simpsons go through a process of"dumbening"? The Simpsons is an Emmy Award-, Annie Award- and Peabody Award-winning animated comedy. What's your opinion? Yeah. $1. It says, "Show me your tie." Lisa, there's no single answer. Your Honor, over the coming weeks and months... we intend to prove Lisa Simpson willfully destroyed-There's the angel! Lisa Simpson from The Simpsons has long been the most openly musical of her family, with her saxophone providing her a great deal of comfort over the years. - But those candy bars are all squished and melted. Treasure, dog food? I'm surprised at you, Lisa. And please don't deprive yourself of wonderful books like To Kill a Mockingbird, Harriet the Spy and Yertle the Turtle possibly the best book ever written on the subject of turtle stacking. [Lowers Voice] The real one's in my garage. Well, does it hurt when you go like this? [Running Footsteps] Damn. I used to share a bathroom with Frostillicus. Hassle in the Castle (Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! Judge: Lisa Simpson, you are charged with destruction of an historic curiosity - a misdemeanor. fun features >>> fanscripts Here you will find over fifty Simpsons fan scripts in .PDF format that have been sent to us over the years. Maybe I can't concentrate because of all your cooties! [Gulping, Chewing] - Pretty neat, huh? So wait a minute. Get- Right- Back- - [Grunts] - I'll get your coat. - Oh, yeah. Oh, Dad, I've never been happier to be your daughter! Ooh! I'm sorry, little girl. I'm trying to get fired. Wait. I even have the Krusty home pregnancy test! Oh, no. Champion of the world! Oh, ain't no big deal. "Moon Pie. And please don't deprive yourself of wonderful books like... To Kill a Mockingbird, Harriet the Spy and Yertle the Turtle... possibly the best book ever written on the subject of turtle stacking. Announcer: We now return to When Buildings Collapse on Nonstop Fox. Some of us are still trying to solve it. "Hey! For me, a script that really illustrates the power of this phenomenon is Moaning Lisa. "Thaw me out when robot wives are cheap and effective. Somebody's gotta set that girl straight... and I know how to do it. I'll cut off her mike. SS is dedicated to The Simpsons and host to thousands of free TV show episode scripts and screencaps, cartoon framegrabs and movie scripts. But what happens when the buildings say, "No more"? It's cute. [Buzzing] Don't open it, Ralph. For your information, none of your business. You get it after you leave. The Simpsons 9F02 - Lisa the Beauty Queen Episode Script. Aw, but we wanna stare at the ice dude. Then the Simpson genes kicked in. I've awakened in the future. [Chuckles] Hey, you know who would love this? That's my chop!" - A freezer geezer. Come look. In the episode, Lisa writes an essay on Springfield founder Jebediah Springfield for the town's bicentennial. And now, with an editorial reply, here's a small girl. Lisa looks worried. Apr 1, 2017 - Typed script of “Lisa the Beauty Queen.” The Simpsons, March 27, 1992. And I ran out of butter, so I had to spray the English muffins with PAM. Hey, who unplugged my freezer? We already bought us a stained glass bathrobe and the world's fattest racehorse. I'm getting worried about Lisa. Or an environmental lawyer. Don't worry. - What about you? Room for one more. 08/17/98 17:46 ♪[Chorus Singing] [Tires Screeching] ... My name is Lisa Simpson. Oh, she's just upset 'cause I told her her brairs turning to mush. Pitched ideas. Your brother's comir along nicely. You have to listen to the notes she's not playing. With Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith. Wait, "Dumbening" isn't even a word! Cowgirl: Howdy, pardners! In the Simpson living room, the family are watching this great film. Lisa rolls her eyes. Her clothes are coming off! Liftoff! No apology! - We'll give ya a buck. 1 Synopsis 2 Full Story 3 Promo Cards 4 Songs 4.1 Song #1 4.2 Song #2 5 Behind the Laughter 5.1 Production 5.2 Reception 6 Citations Marge sends Lisa to a performing arts camp where artsy counselors (guest voices Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie of Flight of the Conchords) and … (impatiently) The mirror! "Hey! Now, you know the agenda. That's right. Whoa! That is the end of our freak show. At least let us watch 'til the midgets drown! Some things man is not meant to know. Santa's Little Helper comes bounding up to Lisa, but when she smiles, the dog runs away scared. Now I can't remember my combination. Scratchy: We come in peace for cats and mice everywhere. Because your father has a big surprise for you. Maybe I should just give up now and settle into a mindless, happy stupor. Not until he admits he's a jerk! The script has been signed by Dan Castellaneta (the voice of Homer Simpson), Yeardly Smith (Lisa Simpson) and Nancy Cartwright (Bart Simpson). See the amazing frozen man. » Transcripts » TV & Movie Transcripts » S » The Simpsons 09x17 - Lisa the Simpson. Have you ever wondered why fat parents have fat children or why Chinese parents have Chinese children? -- Homer, on Bart failing to be elected class president, ``Lisa's Substitute'' Lisa is … Mom, I think something's wrong with me. I can't do anything right lately. Lisa the Skeptic “It looks like a human skeleton, but these other bones almost look like wings.” Lisa Simpson “You mean like an angel!” Ned Flanders "Lisa the Skeptic" is the eighth episode of Season 9. My name is Lisa Simpson. [Yawns] Why bother? SEQ 3 – EXT/NUIT Krustylu Studio [Une banderole est déroulée à l'entrée et indique : « Ce soir, 4000e Krusty Show ». Now, let's get down to business. Any new palindromes? Gib mir die Karte. You kids have to go to bed! I'm ten times the Krusty fan you are. Not according to any movie I've ever seen. Your father. You're lucky he's still alive. Greaney specializes in writing Bart and Lisa episodes from the perspective of a kid. [sits beside her] I guess my little yearbook stunt was pretty rough but it did teach you a lesson. [Ralph sings Fox signature and the pictures panoramas to the moon where a spaceship lands and Scratchy comes out.] These transcripts are perfect for finding that exact quotation you're trying to remember, reciting with your friends, or any other purpose you can think of! The Simpsons drive home. - ##[Carnival] - Come one, come all. LISA Yeah, mom, c'mon! Uh, there it is. A freezer man! " Isn't there any way I can change my D.N. Hmm. Five, four, three, two, one. Please alter my pants as fashion dictates.". She's got that right. Shows that have pages created for all episodes, but are not fully formatted, will be highlighted in light blue. Back when he was your age, he was smart as a chimp. Good glavin. What is she doir out there? In fine condition. Oh, Lisa's right. She's been gone for hours. Wolfe gives it to her. And it's nothing to be ashamed of. That's right, sweetie. I feel like I'm getting dumber by the minute. But the crowd kept looking at me like I was using too many augmented ninths. Transcripts Wiki is a FANDOM TV Community. Hey, angel pie. En fait, tout sur Lisa [Zoom sur Lisa qui reçoit son prix]. Bart: Do you think it was appropriate to bet against your son's little-league team? Lisa Simpson, you are charged... with destruction of an historic curiosity- a misdemeanor. I'll cut off her mike. (Lisa leaves the table) Still others buy my determination to lower taxes. Now you're swinging, honey. I could never sell him. - Nice work, Bart. Good use of pipe cleaners, Becky. You take a dash of Dad, a pinch of Mom... then we bake for nine months, and-. I play a millionaire at parties. Follow me. Lisa sponsors an orphan in Brazil, and when he goes missing she convinces the family to go to Brazil to find him. This is a convenience store... not a freak show. Unless, of course, they're replying to an editorial. With Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith. I think the film should answer all your questions. I feel like I'm getting dumber by the minute. Or Regional Sales Coordinator for the third largest distributor... of bunk and trundle beds. If she started dinner three minutes earlier, we wouldn't be in this mess. That's right. I painted that one. Hey! Lisa Simpson is often regarded as the smartest member of the Simpson family, and the one with the most good in her heart. Announcer: And now, When Surgery Goes Wrong. [ Clears Throat ] Rise to vote, sir. It's not Egyptian. All right. Relax, Lise. Maybe you're just a lousy cook. Now, let's get down to business. [Lisa sort lentement. I'm trying to get fired. Whoa! Sounds good. It's me, your husband, Ralph. Lisa cackles evilly, then smashes the mirror. [All Three Groaning] If she started dinner three minutes earlier, we wouldn't be in this mess. (impatiently) The mirror! No apology! The Simpsons includes a large array of supporting/minor characters: co-workers, teachers, classmates, family friends, extended relatives, townspeople, local celebrities, fictional characters within the show, and even animals. It's a pig! - Better. Come on. Dear Log: It won't be long now before my mind melts... into a soft, Simpsony sludge. Lisa, I think you'll really enjoy it here. Look at this mess. Time has ravaged your once-youthful looks. [Gasps] The project. Homer buys Lisa a pony that the family can ill afford. s31e12 - The Miseducation of Lisa Simpson. And now, with an editorial reply, here's a small girl. Palindromes, anagrams, eat Lisa's pie, then voting. That is the end of our freak show. Oh! It's important to be yourself. Are ya tired, Lisa? Oh, no! You'll have it in 45 seconds, sir. Um, I shoot birds at the airport. Oh, good. Dad was a good speller? Is she dying? If you've written a script and would like to see it on this page, feel free to e-mail it to us.Also, for nearly instant feedback, you can post your fan fiction in the "Itchy & Scratchy Studios" section of our forums. The George Raft look is dead. Thanks. Oh, no! Transcripts » TV Show Transcripts » S » The Simpsons Script view. It first aired on the Fox network in the United States on September 19, 1991. I figure if you've got something special to say... you have to share it with the world. [Groaning] Wesley, get mama's pryir bar. What a time to be alive. Dear Log: My worst fears have been confirmed. I rounded up every Simpson in the tri-city area so I can prove to you there's nothing wrong with the Simpson genes. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on February 18, 1996. Whoa! (runs to hide) Homer: (answering the door) She's in the can. F.D. Simpson gene? If I were her, I'd be buying me a great big chocolate apology cake. Wolfe gives it to her. Back at home, Marge comforts Lisa. A... like sitting on the microwave? Hello. Whoa! Shows that are incomplete, or do not have enough transcripts added, will be highlighted in yellow. Go away. And the bureaucrats in the state capital can put that in their pipes and smoke it! A like sitting on the microwave? Oh, thanks, honey. [Laughs] Oink, oink, oink. Does it? Look at Bart's homework. - [Alarm Blares] - [Men Shouting] You may remember me from such medical films as Alice Doesn't Live Anymore and Mommy, What's Wrong with that Mars Face? Uh, I am! And I feel like there's nothing I can't do. Easy. Background. Let's go out for some frosty swirls. 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